(Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental :-) )
Bill: Our market share is falling, what can we do?
Ballmer: [Sweating]Improve our products?[Still Sweating]
Bill: Don't be ridiculous, if Windows was secure then we wouldn't be able to charge for bug fixes, [not that our software is buggy of course]
Ballmer: [Shirt now navy blue]We could take the old standby[Shirt now very dark navy blue]
Bill: Aha - [to voice activated Windows box]Bring in the lawyers![Windows BSODs] [To voice activated Linux box] Bring in the lawyers!
[Lawyers arrive]
Bill: I want Linux to be made illegal
Ballmer: [Shirt now dissolving in acidic sweat] Developers! Developers! Developers!
Bill: Not now Steve!
Lawyers: This will cost you Bill, bribery is very expensive these days.
Bill: Nah! - I ran an audit check on the US govt. they haven't complied with the MS Windows Server 2003 EULA clause 0203432448 (You hereby agree that All your base are belong to MS)
Lawyers: It shall be done oh fabulously wealthy one!
[US Govt. declares Finland a terrorist state, wages violent war, Linus Torvolds writes a quick kernel update then goes into hiding] ... to be continued.